Carpe Aeternum

Finding the Eternal in the Every Day

What’s in a Name?

What’s up with the name Brad? It seems that a frequent characterization in TV and film is to name a jerk Brad. Somehow that name amplifies the jerkiness of the character. Why? What is it about my name that now has a cultural reference to being a jerk? Is there some dude that went to high school with a bunch of Hollywood writers and treated them like crap? Or are they lashing out against perception? Or is it jealousy? Raging against the talent, fame and all around sexiness of the Brad’s of the world?
I mean, Brad Garrett is quite funny. Brad Pitt does a fine job acting and lots of ladies still swoon over him. Brad Paisley also causes his share of swooning as well as plays a mean guitar and writes both touching and humorous lyrics. That’s a decent amount of reason for jealousy, but come on. There has to be a pile of Petes or Johns or some other name to cause the same reaction.
That must mean that it has, as all things do, something to do with me. Now, I can’t remember anything that I’ve personally done to piss off a bunch of screenwriters, so there has to be some other reason. I thin it’s merely a cumulative effect. That given all the jealousy inducing traits the other three Brads provide, I’m the bit that puts it over the top. You build your mountain of Brad Garrett, Brad Pitt and Brad Paisley and that’s daunting. But when you see that the summit is Brad Bellmore, well that’s the kind of intimidation to make grown men cry. Or screenwriters try to diminish the glory by berating the name.
They can spew all the bile they want in an attempt to taint America’s perception, even the world’s perception of us. It just won’t happen. This degree of awesomeness can’t be degraded. If were just the other three, possibly. But I give it that something extra that makes the name Brad impervious to the power of all the pens in Hollywood. Do your worst. You just can’t tarnish the awesomeness of Brad.

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