Carpe Aeternum

Finding the Eternal in the Every Day

Brad Bellmore Gets a Life – 17

We watch Biggest Looser in my house and I entertain fantasies of getting fit while watching. Some days I’m even motivated to exercise. Gradually, I’m creating a lifestyle that is more health focused. More active anyway.
One of the things that drives me nuts with the show is when people whine and quit in the middle of a workout. Let me say now, and first of all, that I am fully aware of my hypocrisy as I bail on workouts all the time. Actually, I might cut 5 minutes, or reduce the intensity level on the elliptical part of the way through. That said, I once was a fitness stud and I understand the importance of pushing through to the end. I get that I need to persevere rather than quit.
I remembered what it was like to play ball in college and when we had three-a-days for training camp. That last practice each day was a matter of will, not strength. We did what we did because we forced our bodies to do them. The sprints at the end were the worst. I literally had no energy to run forty yards, much less do it again and again. But I did it. Somehow, I did it, just as all of my teammates did. We whined and moaned. We never cried because we were men, manly men. But we suffered and pushed through.
Sure, I wanted to quit. I wanted to with every step. But I didn’t.
At this point in my life, if I ever am to have a life as I often propose in this blog, I need to rediscover that ability. To be able to push on by will when my strength and courage are gone, that is a virtue that I have let atrophy beyond recognition. Perhaps I would have finished a novel or two. Perhaps I would have pushed through to publication. Perhaps I would have not gotten fat and lazy and stuck in a rut.
Perhaps.
More importantly is, “what the hell am I going to do about it now?” I’ve gotten myself into this rut and I’m in process of getting out. Maybe someday, and hopefully soon, I can recover my strength of will and push forward. It may start with not lowering the intensity of my elliptical work. It may begin with actually hitting my self imposed deadlines on this blog. Whatever it is, this resuscitation needs to happen. If I am to get a life that is.

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One thought on “Brad Bellmore Gets a Life – 17

  1. Darlene Clark on said:

    Wow, Brad, I can certainly relate to that sentiment. It is the reason I work out at a facility with trainers, because of the accountability. If I know someone is waiting for me and is going to push me I’ll perform better and not think up some lame excuse or talk myself out of my work out. The key here is accountability I think. What do they call those people who are like personal trainers but for lifestyle? Life coaches? I used to think that was silly, a scam really. But since I’ve been working out at this studio and have come to appreciate the trainers there, maybe I’m mistaken. I could probably use that kind of motivation… not sure if I could find it within myself.

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