Brad Bellmore Gets a Life – 18
So a week after I write about how it sucks to only see people at funerals, I find myself on the way to funeral. I saw a bunch of family that I haven’t seen in years. Some of them are people that I’m not that close with but are good to see none-the-less. Some, however, are people quite dear to me, people that have had a big impact in my life.
And I’ve failed to stay in touch with them.
And it took a funeral to bring us together again.
I am trying to figure out a way to stay connected. They live several hours away, so I can’t just drop in on them. Yes, this is an age of technology so I can email them or even go old school and call them. Even that seems hard to squeeze into the schedule too. Not sure why. It just does.
At this point I realize some of this is being deliberate and actually doing something about it. I can actually pick up the damn phone and make the call rather than sit down to rest for a few minutes at the end of my work day. It’s not that exhausting to call them. Usually it’s invigorating. And work, isn’t that hard. So why is it a struggle?
Maybe because there are so many other people that I want to stay in contact regularly and fail at as well, so I feel guilty calling my mom because I owe a call to three other friends. But I could be more deliberate about contacting them too. I love these people, don’t I? They are important to me.
Somehow this ties into the discipline of exercising. Or writing. Or anything. I can find the time to call and connect. I can find the energy to express and feel love. But I want it to be because I love them not because I’m being disciplined. But can I use the task to help me connect which will grow the love that drives me to want to connect? I know, it sounds convoluted.
But it has to happen. This can’t be my cycle. I can’t be connected through funerals alone. Life has to be the reason to seek people out, not death.