Carpe Aeternum

Finding the Eternal in the Every Day

Archive for the tag “purpose”

Brad Bellmore Gets a Life – 16

Life is a long race.
I suck at long races. The thing that gets me through on long runs is focusing on my form. I completely withdraw into myself and find the rhythm of breathing and moving my arms and tune everything else out. It’s almost trancelike. The problem is I forget to enjoy the run. Of course that usually means the scenery because the actual pushing myself to the point of fatigue isn’t really all that fun.
With life, I feel like the same thing happens. I focus on what needs to happen to get through a day, maybe even just an hour. I just try to remember to breath and move forward and usually get to the end. Somehow.
In the process, I forget to enjoy myself. I forget the important things like connecting with the people around me. Important people.
About five years ago, I ran into some old friends at a funeral. People who are very dear to me. People that I love a lot. We realized that we hadn’t seen each other in years. Here are legitimate reasons: geography, growing families, work other life commitments. Sometimes it’s just hard to connect.
But are those reasons really legitimate? I mean, there are real and important, but aren’t the people too? Can’t I find some way to squeeze in some time with them? We decided that we couldn’t let funerals be the reason we gathered. If we left it to that, before long, it would be one of our funerals that brought us together.
So we became purposeful and deliberate about connecting with each other. For a while. Then life got in the way. And I started focusing on getting through each day. Almost trancelike. Just breathing and moving forward.

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Brad Bellmore Gets a Life – 9

So this choosing story thing isn’t as brilliant as I expected. I still love the idea. I even like the idea of embracing risk as a means to a better story. The problem lies in the action, the doing, and the truly living this thing out.
Life is full of crap and mundane tasks that eat up so much of my day. I keep hearing people refer to the book Good to Great by Jim Collins and the concept of putting aside the good things in life or business to pursue the great things. The main idea is that bad is rarely the enemy of great. Good is. The good things we constantly choose interfere with our attempts to strive something great. I have yet to read the book, but so many people are referring to it lately that I need to check into it.
The concept however, seems to be close to my life though. My earlier laments about lack of direction have mostly stemmed from choosing good things rather than making appropriate sacrifices to achieve great things. Or at least greater things than I have.
Instead, I have lived like Forest Gump, just moving through life, letting things happen to me and then responding to them. Somewhere inside me, there has to be that movie hero that stops letting things happen and starts making things happen. That would be a great thing to shape my story into something truly worth living.

Brad Bellmore Get’s a Life – 2

Donald Miller is one of my favorite authors and with the soon to be released movie of Blue Like Jazz, I have been pondering his influence on my life. That book made me rethink many of my perceptions on Christianity. He made me consider what am I really believing in and find a way to connect my faith to my life.
To Own a Dragon, his take growing up without a father. To him, a father was as mythical a creature as a dragon. This book connected with a lot of my thoughts and feelings of growing up without a father, some of which I did not even know I had until I had kids.
Another challenge to my faith and why I believe what I believe was Searching for God Knows What. It even challenged me to think about how I express what I believe.
But, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years pushed me farther than any of the others. The basic idea of this book revolves around Don realizing that he wants to write a better story for his life. This is actually spawned by the process of creating the movie mentioned above. Anyway, it resonated with me when I read it given that my life is rather a rambling mess than a cohesive story. I felt inspired at the time to make some changes. That was short lived, mostly because the various waves of depression stemming from unemployment plowed that inspiration deep into the dirt.
But now, as I ponder how I learn to live, to truly be alive for whatever is left of my life, the movie surfaces and stokes again the fires of creating a better story. Which is what I hope to do here, both explore the process and tell the story.
And so, I set forth in quest for a life worth living and a story worth telling.

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